Fireflies

I was 4 year old or maybe younger. My brother and sister would take me to park in the evening and I’d catch fireflies. I guess I belong to the last generation of those people whose childhood was not shadowed by the technology. I mean the computers, smartphones and Xbox kind of stuff. Computer and video games were there but, playing outside with friends was the trend.

My childhood was all about Tom and Jerry, Pokemon, Digimom, Beyblade, Johny Bravo, Power Puff Girls, Recess (and many more)…these were the cartoons we used to watch and even collect their cards from chips packets. The person with the biggest collection was looked at with respect. My cousin had this huge collection of Pokemon cards. He had this whole bundle and I guess he still has it.

Today I was swapping channels and I saw the old episode of Pokemon playing. I instantly stopped and in few seconds I was transported back to my childhood. Those happy, carefree days when everyday I’ll go on a new adventure with Ash, Brock and Misty. This one episode brought back a flood of memories. I had seen that episode and I knew what will happen, but the joy of reliving the past was beyond everything and quite irresistible.

As I grew up a little, the focus shifted to Disney channel. Lizzie McGuire, That’s So Raven, High school Musical and not to forget Disney animated movies. Today when I look back I realize that I’ve had a wonderful childhood. As a child, going to the park in the evening and playing till my mom would not call me back was natural. Now, I go to the park with few of my school friends and see them empty. I don’t see children on swings or playing games. I would just see a few aunties walking with their headphones.

These parks are lifeless and not the same. As a little girl I used to run after fireflies or “Jugnu”, as I used to call. I would catch one or two every day. I just loved them and was always fascinated by them. To me they were like flying stars, stars that I always wanted to catch and keep. Although, I never had a chance to keep them in a jar because my parents told me that they’d die. Now, I don’t see them anywhere in the park. It’s like they’ve disappeared and taken away all the light and life from the parks.

 Now, that I think about the fireflies, well I guess that they are just a fragment of my imagination. My mind says that such creatures exist and you’ve held them in your hands but, my heart is struggling to remember. I want to hold them again in my hands and feel that ecstasy and magic. I know it’s a childish desire, but a desire which stems from the want of feeling happiness in small things!! I wish to borrow the light from the fireflies to light up my world. I want to ignite the fire to revoke back the child in me.

PS: Just to be clear, I’m not very old. I’m 18 and want to always keep the child inside me alive. So, I sometimes like to walk back on memory lane; go to the parks or for that matter watch the old cartoons!! ;) :)

Empty Hall

Today it again happened. Yes, I looked back in hope of seeing him. But, alas!! It was not him. I thought that I heard his footsteps. As I turned back, I saw someone else in his place, well, it tore my heart. As I looked in the innocent eyes of the stranger, all the memories of someone’s brown eyes came back to haunt me. I turned back in disgust. I won’t be trapped by these innocent eyes again. I moved ahead, head held high with a promise to never look back.

I reached the stairs and clinched out of habit. I thought that he would come dashing through the stairs and jump at me. He didn’t come. I dropped my bag. Suddenly, I was too tired to climb those stairs. I couldn’t move my feet further. Why is this happening with me? But, I couldn’t lose myself now. I had to move further, if not with him then without him. I picked up my bag and climbed the stairs.

I unlocked the door. As I entered, I heard his voice. I knew he was there, maybe in the next room. I threw my bag and ran down to the next room and then to the next, searching and shouting for him to wait for me this one time. To just let me say a proper goodbye. He didn’t wait this time too. He left me yet again.

I came back to that empty hall. All my strength had left me. I sat down in the middle of the books that had fallen from my half open bag. Why did he do this me? Why did he leave without saying a goodbye to me? My eyes were dry. I wanted to cry but these tears wouldn’t come out.

I stood up and put the books back in my bag. Now, that I look around I realize that this hall would miss him more than I do. His presence was what had given life to these mere four walls. His presence brightened this place even on the gloomiest winter mornings. Now, this hall was empty. It has lost all its charm, only a sense of emptiness prevails here.

All the happy and sad memories are captured in these four walls forever. This hall is empty now but, it has all the beautiful, funny, sad and emotional times captured within its four walls. I would always cherish the short time he spent with us. He may not have waited for me to say goodbye but, for me he would always have a special place in my life. A place that no can take. They say that time heals all wounds and with time I’ve also learnt to live with his memories. I miss him. Winters are coming; I’ll miss the way he used to wake me on chilly mornings or stubbornly follow me to school.

I remember all these things and more. There is not a single day that passes by when I don’t think about him. I’m angry that he left without saying a goodbye to me. He should’ve waited!! 

Exploring New Horizons

It was just an ordinary Friday morning but as soon as I looked at the calendar I smiled because it was not an ordinary day, not anymore!! It was teacher’s day…soon I was flooded with my school memories, memories that had made my life so special. For a moment I hated my bag which was all packed to go to a frivolous conference. I didn’t want to go. I just wished to be back at school with all my friends.

Reluctantly, I got up to get ready. I was not excited and even got really late. I left my house at 11:40am when my call time was of 12:00pm. I knew I was late but, I didn’t care. Therefore, I reached at the hotel at 2pm. All through the way I tried to smile and muster up little excitement but it was all in vain and thus, I soon gave up on it.

Finally, after about two hours of travelling and heading in the wrong direction once, I reached the hotel where the so called “AIESEC in Delhi IIT September Leadership Conference 2014” was supposed to take place. Not an impressive hotel but, then I didn’t even have any expectations. Actually, I didn’t have any expectation from this whole conference.

I get my luggage out of car and stand in a queue to get it checked for any eatables. Like seriously, I felt so like a school kid!! I get my room number and head inside with my luggage. OMG!! My luggage was so heavy. I reach stairs and stare at them for a while. I wait to see if someone would help me but, then I tell myself that I’m a strong, independent girl who doesn’t need anyone’s help. I pick up my luggage and start climbing the stairs. I reach my room but, stand out for while to catch my breath.

Now, while writing this do I realize that the first step into that room 118 was so special. I didn’t know that just an ordinary hotel room would make my life turn upside down. It was as if someone had pushed me into a hole. My fairytale had started as soon as I had stepped into that room and I was the ALICE who had gotten into wonderland unknowingly.

Day 1

I met my department (Youth Marketing Musketeers-YMM) managers and members in room. I felt awkward sitting there but, soon I saw myself listening to the weirdest and craziest things about people. I was surprised at every story. When it was my turn to share, well, let’s just say I didn’t have much to share.

After this ice breaking sessions, our managers asked us to prepare a “Jive” and “Roll call” for our department. We started with jiving and the song selected was “tu lagawe jab lipstick”. Oh God!! In the beginning I just couldn’t stop laughing as I heard the song, let alone think of any possible steps for it. But, soon I found myself following the steps and actually enjoying. We had prepared our jive and in the process a few other members and managers had joined us. Then, our managers left us for a while and we had a crazy DARE game in which we gave all the possible wild tasks.

Till evening I had met so many people and when I went for the first Plenary I found myself shouting my department and DI (Delhi IIT) roll call at the top of my voice. Even though, I’m not a dancer and quite shy, I simply loved jiving before every session. With evening session our conference truly began. We met our LCP (Local Committee President) and Executive Board (EB) members. We officially started the conference.

As the night extended we touched all kinds of topics from abstract to serious world issues. I never imagined myself seeking solutions about world issues in middle of the night or for that matter proposing an Executive Board member in front of about 150 people. I could already feel myself coming out of the cocoon, emerging out as a more confident and independent person.

But, the journey had just started. First night our conference finished around 3 am. After this we were not supposed to sleep since we had our skuling night at which I cheered for my team at the top of my voice. So, this first day I slept at 5 am and woke up at 7:30 am.

Day 2

With just around 2 hours of sleep, everyone woke up and got ready to make it to the morning conference at 10:30 am. As usual it started with a jive. We finally met our official chair for the conference and started the session with the punishments. Yeah, people who were late to the conference were given punishments.

The conference sessions on second day focused on familiarizing the new recruits with the actual work they had to do in their respective departments. Also, we had one-two-one chat with our president and our chair (who was an ex-LCP in Russia) too told us about the Russian culture. We had auctions for the prom of the executive board members in between our sessions, which were so amazing and hilarious. Two girls from my department got dates for the prom with an EB member and yes, our very own LCP!!

PrOm NiGhT <3 <3

Love was in the air or not…well, I can’t say much about it but, yes the air was drugged with happiness. If there is something like getting “high on happiness”, well then I was really drunk on the happiness. I was giddy with joy and it all happened because I asked an EB member to dance with me and he did!! Like OMG!! When I went to ask him I was so scared but then I mustered up courage and went to him and said, “Can I have one dance with you?”

“Where is your prom?? You should be dancing with him!!” he replied as he kept his phone inside. The way he had kept his one hand on my shoulder in the cliché patronizing gesture of a school teacher, I so felt like a school kid at that moment. In that moment I thought that he would refuse and I felt like running away from that room. But, guess what?? I didn’t have to because the next moment he looked at me smiling and said, “Okay, I’ll dance with for 2 minutes and then you go back to your date”.

Oh yeah!! I didn’t shout out loud but I was actually going crazy. Finally, I had asked out him…a person who I was so scared of. I did it!! I conquered yet, another of my fears. The song on which we danced was “pehla nasha, pehla khumar”, it was the perfect song for the occasion. It was not the perfect song because of the cliché reason that I had some crazy crush on him; it was just that for me it was the first time that I had done something so out of my character. During the whole dance he tried to ask me a lot of things and I didn’t answer because I was so happy.

After dancing with him, I danced for quite a while with my friends. I slept at 5:40 am.

Day 3

It was the last day and a lot people were suffering from the last night hangover. I woke up at 8 am. Got ready and had my breakfast. I reached the conference on time but, I went out and ended up getting the coin punishment. Like seriously, I always end up screwing things. It was okay, after the punishments the whole day went on like the previous day. But, third day’s sessions focused more on self-introspection and strengthening the trust between the team members.

We discussed our weakest moments and first time everything fell in place. Till then the people who had been like strangers suddenly, became my confidante and secret bearers. Their stories told me so much about them. During the last 2 days I had asked a lot of questions because some of them were like open book but, there were some people who were giving me a really hard time. I was not able to figure them out. After that session it dawned on me that I was sitting with not some bunch “nobodies” but, with extraordinarily brave people who had won a lot of battles. Though, in the process of winning they were not unscathed. They had proud battle scars; some visible other invisible. They taught me that “life goes on” and with every problem you emerge out to be stronger and better version of yourself, one just has to hold on tight and never give up!! Also, the JFDI videos were shown. The best team and delegate were awarded too.

With all this and more our conference ended with a last party. We had an official department toast before the EB party. We all shared our experience and I finally got out of the hotel at 5:40am with my luggage. My managers and members were still dancing. I had said a quick goodbye to everyone I could meet. As the morning breeze entangled my hair I realized that it was not an ordinary day when I stepped onto this threshold, neither this conference was frivolous!!

I wanted the time to freeze but, life goes on and I had left behind a little piece of me in the form of sugar cubes for my YMM team.

My whole experience of SLC challenged all my pre-conceived notions about the world and its workings. My basic beliefs and principles were constantly challenged at every turn and there came a time when I felt like a misfit and suffered identity crisis. But, I didn’t give up and persisted on my way of life even when the whole order of my life was collapsing down. This SLC taught me not to quit on stuff, rather it showed me the other way which was not the conventional one but surely better than giving up.

This conference had redefined hope and optimism in my life. It taught me to not give up on my values rather modify them to cope up with this fast pace life. It taught me to be more adaptable and non-judgmental. It somewhere redefined the limits that I had set for myself and helped me to broaden my horizon and dream big!! I conquered most of my fears and became a better person than what I was last week!!

P.S. – I had an awesome director who was always there for us at the background; guiding us and motivating us throughout the 3 days!! We love you Mousumi Boro <3

Reflections

Almost two weeks have passed and I’ve not written about anything. Well, it’s not because of the lack of interesting incidents, they happened in abundance. In these last few days I had to say a lot of goodbyes and hellos.

I would start with my new friends in college. So, I met these girls on the third day of my college and instantly became their friend. They are nice bunch of girls who are all amazing in their own way. I’m learning a lot of things from them. They are somewhere teaching me to embrace what life has somewhat thrown at me suddenly.

There is a friend of mine whom I had met on that third day only. It was her dream to come to Delhi and study literature. The first time I heard about this dream of hers, I was a little surprised. She is so happy to be in this college. The only thing that she resents is the fact that she is away from her family and friends. What surprises me the most is that a thing which is not so important to me has such high importance for someone else that, that person goes to temple every Tuesday to thank God!!

I had heard about such things in books and had heard it many times from my parents and other elders around me that, even the food that we take for granted and don’t eat sometimes just because we don’t like the taste of it, has great importance for someone else who works day and night just to provide his/her family the so called ‘tasteless food’. I fully understand its true meaning after coming to college.

They asked in college, what was the difference between school and college? Well, in my opinion, in school we had always lived in a protective bubble where all our classmates had the same lifestyles and more or less the same kind of culture. However, in college ‘diversity’ doesn’t merely mean the cultural or religious diversity. It means more than that. One gets to meet people from all the strata’s of society with experiences which are poles apart from yours. I had been surprised over so many things in these last few weeks that I’ve lost count of it. I had felt that I’ve lived in another world for the last 14 years of my life.  It seems like I don’t know anything about the real world anymore. The definition of reality has suddenly changed or should I say that I didn’t actually know what really ‘reality’ and the ‘true world’ were like?

Talking about reality…well, what is happening to this world? First, Gaza and now, it’s Iraq. Like I don’t know how people can so horribly interpret a religion or for that matter use the name of religion to justify their cruelty. I don’t want to get into a religious debate since; I’m pretty sure that no religion preaches to bury people alive, sell women and moreover, make little children and women slaves. I’m always amazed at such incidents. Yes, I’m stunned at people’s idiotic ideologies that make them or influence them to be so brutal towards a fellow human being. A human being that you don’t know anything about except the religion that he/she follows or the country he/she belongs to.

Why don’t these people understand that a person is not only merely defined by these boundaries and the religion they follow? A person is more than it. Goodness is a very essential quality and quite rare but; it surely doesn’t come along with the religion and country. Any person can be capable of being good and great. Killing people on the name religion and the faith that they follow is not going to wipe off the truly bad guys who lurk in every other streets, hanging girls to trees. Anyone can do bad things and be the so called ‘devil’.

What’s happening to Yazidi community people is straightforward unjust and wrong. There are no shades of grey when it comes to life and death. There is only right or wrong. It’s up to you on which side you want to be. You can be good or bad irrelevant to your religion or country. So, seriously stop this nonsense of murdering innocents and do something good in life. And, if that’s too difficult for you then, I’d suggest don’t do anything at all.

These wars and killings are not physically affecting me at all. These incidents are just pricking my conscience and are forcing me to ask questions which I would’ve never asked otherwise. Moreover, they are just making me feel good about the life that I’ve. These incidents are somehow making me appreciate my life and what I’ve. My problems seem petty and insignificant when I think about what they must be going through in their life. In this moment I tell myself that everything aside “Meri Zindagi sach mein Gulzar hai”!! Yes, my life is truly amazing and beautiful. It’s not easy but it’s like a rollercoaster ride with few bumps now and then!!

The K-factors (Part-2)

Yes, I’m writing part two. There was a time I had thought that I won’t write it but today I think that I should finish what I started. I shouldn’t leave it hanging in the middle of nowhere. My college has started and both of my K-factors are not with me anymore. Kar is studying management and Khuboo is going for doctor (or whatever she decides) and I’m studying English literature.

I knew that after school we would have very different lives but I never knew that we’ll be so far away!! So, I guess this is the right time to write about them.

Well, after that first meeting the next day I didn’t fight with them over seat, instead I sat with Khuboo!! Days went on and turned to weeks. I enjoyed my time with Khuboo. Kar was still a little reserved but I had found out that he had very strong opinions, especially about girls being very lucky and privileged since there are so many girls college in Delhi University and also it was so unfair that girls didn’t suffer from hemophilia and other sex-linked disorders!! Although, I still don’t agree with him about girls being lucky in a country like India where they’re being hanged to trees…

He had a hidden debater in himself which woke up every time I said something whether it was about that day’s weather or Van de-graff generator. Yes, he had fought with me over Van de-graff generator as well!! He never gave up. Even when he knew he was wrong, he would go on and on until he won that argument. This perseverant attitude did win him many arguments. There were times when I felt like banging my head in the wall or better bang his head instead of mine.

Kar was not a stupid person but he was stubborn. I wouldn’t say that his arguments or his opinions were wrong but they were different from mine. Too much different and I guess that the reason for our conflict. Moreover, he was never ready to see the other side…in his mind there was only one side of coin which was “His side”. And me being as stubborn as he was, wouldn’t let go until and unless my head would throb with pain!!

These arguments were life of our group. I really enjoyed them and now when I think about them, well, it just brings a smile to my face. I miss these arguments. These debates only finished with me walking away and even then sometimes he would come after me speaking until he got an answer. He left only when he would be sure that I won’t utter a single word and the satisfactory slow smile that was pasted on his face immediately after silence!! Oh god, I bet he was giddy with happiness after winning these arguments, saying “yeah” and giving himself a “self congratulatory high five”!!

Apart from all these debates, we did have serious conversation and yes, he has helped me a lot too. He’s a good teacher as well. He was the one in our group who kept all of us on our toes. He was always worried about exams and thus, reminded us to work hard. He did all he could to get us serious and worried about the exams. His favorite line was “BIO WALI MUJHE NUMBER NAHI DEGI”!! I guess now he’s happy because our biology teacher did give him full marks in practical.

But, he was a black hole who sucked happiness out whenever he got a chance. There were times when his pessimistic attitude got me worked up too much. People called me a pessimist but, after meeting him it seemed that I had converted into an optimist. At least, in comparison to him I was too good.

This is where Khuboo comes in picture. She was the perfect antidote to Kar’s contagious depression. If Kar was the dark night then she was the moonlight. She is happiness personified. Khuboo is one those people who would always make you smile and would let you see the silver lining.

Even during my 12^th board exams I would call her and ask her to tell me jokes!! She is one of those rare creatures on this earth who don’t judge people very critically. She doesn’t force people to change for her and accepts them as they are. She tries to see the other side of the coin. She’s just opposite of Kar.

The most important thing for her is to live everyday to the fullest. There are very few people and I’m surely not one of them who celebrate their life. She finds reason to smile in the most depressing situations. Even as I’m writing about her, my head is filled with pictures of the time when we had laughed so hard that we literally had tears in our eyes. I don’t remember being sad in her company. She never gave a damn about what people thought about her. She was one of the most secure and self assured people that I’ve ever met.
 

What I don’t like about her?? Well, this is a hard question because I just LOVE her. But still, everyone has flaws and I guess sometimes this blow-it-off attitude of hers gets her in trouble. I don’t want her to be too much serious but I want her to think deeply and seriously about certain important things in life. It’s very important to be happy in life but to postpone things and ignore them won’t make them go away. One or the other day she’ll have to face those things and make a decision. This happy go lucky attitude doesn’t always work.

She has a beautiful and intelligent mind but why she chooses not to use it is something that sometimes irritates me. She has so much of potential to do something really good in her life but, I really think that she’s not trying hard enough. I just hope that she soon finds her niche in life and do something great!!

Well, in the end all I can say is that both of them are truly two amazing people that I was lucky enough to meet. They’ve irritated, annoyed and made me happy. They’ve always been there in the background. They made the last two years of school truly amazing. They would always be remembered together, even if they are not together!! Don’t be a stranger guys and keep in touch!! I miss you both in college!!

Your friend,

Misscrazymind ;)

PS: Kartikeya=Kar and Khushboo=Khuboo.

JUST STOP!!

It’s been over a week now…like literally!! I’ve not read the newspaper in the hope of escaping the news of the brutal killings of innocent people in the world; be it the “Gaza and Israel conflict” or “The curious case of crash of Malaysian airline MH17”. Still, it’s like you can run, you can hide but you can’t possibly escape the news of over 300 innocent people death’s because someone was too careless!!

I don’t know why all of this is happening? I’m trying to understand it. I’m trying to find a justification to all the mindless killings of the people in Gaza. Why are innocent people being dragged in a political situation and why are they paying the price of a crime that they’ve not committed? I’m not a Muslim but I’m surely a human being and what’s happening between Gaza and Israel is very unfortunate. I know that there are differences in the opinions of the leaders’ of the two states and yes, killing and kidnapping any person is a crime but to punish the innocent is also a sin then.

I know a few people were unjustly treated and I don’t want to get into this long debate about who did the wrong thing first because it’s the classic hen and egg case. I don’t care about it but, all I care about is the fact that a lot of people are dying. Their lives are being uprooted and devastated. People are being killed or should I say MURDERED!!

Why is it so difficult to sit back and talk peacefully? Is it more difficult than taking lives of innocent people? When did we become so inhuman and insensitive that lives of people mattered less than our political issues? That in the madness to gain control and have our opinion held high we forgot that it’s the people for whose interest the leaders are appointed. The leaders are there to protect people’s rights. It’s high time now; the concerned authorities should smell coffee and save the people from these mindless mad killings.

Moreover, this curious case of the Malaysian airlines being mistakenly hit by a missile; seriously…the missile just hit the plane thinking that it was a rebel plane!! How?!?!? They just made a call of blowing a huge plane mid air without checking it thoroughly? They are calling it a “TRAGIC MISTAKE”!! It’s not a mistake; it’s a HUGE BLUNDER and MURDER of 298 people!! How can someone be so careless?? And if a certain thing is faulty and you don’t know how to use it then, why use it??

With this crash of MH17 not only 298 lives were lost but this plane carried at least 6 AIDS researchers and activists among whom was the prominent Dutch researcher Joep Lange, former president of the International AIDS Society, and WHO spokesman Glenn Thomas. Therefore, this was a huge loss of the society as well.

All I can say in the end is that all this should STOP immediately!! NO MORE KILLINGS!!

FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE !!

Today was the start of a new chapter in my crazy book of life: the beginning of College. Yes, I’m officially a collegiate today. For about a week the shopping for college was in full swing. New clothes, accessories, bags, shoes, etcetera!!

Right now writing this blog post my head, my foot, my whole body is aching. It seems as if the whole week’s shopping trips have now taken their toll but still, I can’t possibly sleep without recording my first day of college. Actually, for the last whole week I’ve hardly slept but to say that I didn’t sleep in excitement of going to college would be completely wrong because I was not happy.

Yes, it’s true that I was not happy with the course I got. I never imagined myself doing English Honors because I always thought that passion and ambition can never be merged together in the practical world. A lot of my friends have taken admission in professional courses. They’ve pursued business management, law, Chartered accountancy (CA), engineering, economics, B.Com and psychology. All I could think was that I’m making a wrong decision by taking a course like English Honors when I’ve no real interest in being a professor or get into teaching line. So, the whole last week with the shopping, this constant gnawing literally ate up head as well as my appetite and sleep. I was scared. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision.

I could’ve got those professional courses but I didn’t choose them. I had come to a standstill. There came a time when I thought that I’d made a serious mistake by choosing this course. I should’ve been rational and chosen a professional course. But, today everything changed. All my fears are now shut in a locker and the key is lost.

I got up at 5 in the morning and started getting ready for my first day. Even while getting ready I couldn’t muster up much excitement for today. At sharp 7:30 am I got out of my house. Throughout the journey to my new college I tried to infuse happiness. I wanted to be happy when I stepped into that college. I didn’t want to remember my first day of college being sad. Alas, I gave up on being happy when we reached Moments mall in Kirti Nagar and I started looking out of the window.

There was not much of traffic in the morning and the weather was pleasant. I kept on gazing outside. Soon we reached Rajinder Nagar and from there my favourite part of Delhi started; Talkatora Garden, President’s Estate, Rashtrapati Bhawan, South Avenue Area, Teen Murti Marg, Race Course, Lodhi Estate, Lodhi Garden. My college is just situated in the walking distance of Indian Habitat Centre and Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium. Therefore, when I reached my college I was very much happy.

This area has always held a certain charm of its own. I never cease to be fascinated from the different colour ambassador cars of Navy, Airforce and other government officials or the greenery, bump free roads and cleanness. I always used to tell my dad that he was very lucky to be working in PM security. And the irony of life is that now I’ve got my wish. I would go to this place every day for the next three years. This area is undoubtedly the best area of the Delhi. It’s a blend of Old and New both, in just the right proportion.

So with a smile on face I entered my college but the smile was wiped off my face as soon as I enter the building where some 100 or more confused students were frantically asking each other about the courses they belonged to in the hope of finding someone in their course and those who were not asking were gathered in front of wall where I think was the timetable and room No.’s of different courses were displayed. The only thing I did was to stand there for a while and observe but, after a moment I thought of stepping out because it was very suffocating. As soon as I was leaving a girl asked me about the course I belonged to. I told her and her face turned paler than it already was. She’d asked me about my course after mustering up a lot and courage and staring. She was very nervous and was worried that she’d miss the first lecture!! LOL!!

Just after I finished talking to her, two other girls asked me and finally the 3^rd girl who asked me seemed elated as soon as she heard that I was from English honours. Both of us after a quick introduction, started our hunt for the classroom in a college that was under construction and where no one knew where the rooms were and in this quest of finding the room my foot slipped in cement!! Like seriously, till then we both had asked at least 10 people to tell us where room no.-104 was situated and all of them gave us blank expression. Finally we found the rooms but, I realized that the other girl who was with me was from Section A and I was in Section B, hence my expedition continued. Finally I found my classroom too, on the top floor. I entered that classroom and sat near the window. Children in my class were talking in low voices to each other or toying with their smart phones. I also took out my phone and thought of wishing my friend Khuboo “Best of Luck” for her NATA exam.

After all this hunting my mood was back to normal. I was not happy but then I was not sad too. I talked to her and told her that everything was RIDICULOUS except the JNU Stadium view from the classroom. The first period got over and during that time I met 3 girls. One of them was from Nepal, other from UP and the last one was SUPER SHY but from Delhi. We headed to our next class. There also nothing happened, except a few more introductions whose names I’ve forgotten!! In all the second period was totally boring and that was the time when I started missing my school, like seriously!!

So, the shy girl in the tow I roamed around the college; went to the college canteen (which I’ll never go back to), amphitheatre and the grounds. Finally, in the last class something happened. Our seniors came and asked us to give our introduction but, not a single child stood up. After a lot of coaxing a few students stood up but the others kept on talking amongst themselves and not a single word was audible to us.

The seniors, who were to be our very personal “hellhounds from hell” and do our ragging, were the best people that I found in college. They were very approachable and with no attitude. They didn’t force anyone and after a while when they realized that no one was listening they sat back. I talked to my seniors for that whole period. One of them was Preeti. She was particularly very sweet and told me about all the societies and how the college worked.

All I would say in the end was that the first day of college didn’t start that well but it surely did end on a happier note. My seniors were really great and this one-two-one interaction with them was very informative. I never thought that I’d say this but, “yes, I look forward to tomorrow’s day”!!

PS: Oh, did I forget to mention my professors? Well, that’s because they didn’t show up!! Hoping they’ll come tomorrow!! J

Exploring Life across Border

I’m in love with Pakistani Television shows…yeah, there is said it!! Like seriously, I’ve only seen 2 shows and that too only 2 episodes of these shows and I’m already humming there tunes.

It all started with a song that I heard on Television for the promotion of a new show on a new channel by Ali Zafar. He is one of my favorite singers’, actor and director!! J So, initially it was just his voice that lured me to watch the promo of the show. Every time the promo would come I’d tune in and watch it very carefully. With time my curiosity for the show increased since the promos were also quite good. The promotions were on full swing and the day this channel was supposed to go finally on air, the front of my newspaper had this beautiful thing written which truly won my heart.

Visa insanon ko lagta hai, kahaniyon ko nahin. Dekhiye aaj raat 8 baje se, sarhad paar ki behtareen kahaniyan, naye channel Zindagi par.

(It means that visa is just needed by the humans to go to places and different countries but stories don’t need such things to travel.)

So, leaving everything aside including my computer, mobile phone and of course the college admission madness which happens to be my constant companion these days, I switched on my television and frantically searched the channel because I didn’t want to miss the starting and not the title track of this show i.e. ZINDAGI GULZAR HAI. I found the channel and as soon as the title track started, a big smile came on my face and then the show started with these beautiful lines by the protagonists;

Kashaf: Zindagi ek bahut bada masla hai, itna bada masla ke isko hal karte karte insaan khatam ho jaata hai…

( Kashaf: Life is a big and difficult mystery and a person dies trying to deciphering this mystery during his/her life.)

Zaroon: Zindagi kya khoobsurat cheez hai, har din naya, surprises, achievements, ups and downs…

(Zaroon: Life is a beautiful thing where every day is new, full of surprises, achievements, ups and downs…)

With these lines of the two protagonists I understood the characters have poles apart views about life. But the surprising thing was their language; apart from a few Urdu and English words they spoke Hindi. I thought that I’d not understand a single word but I understood what they were saying and first time in my life I found out that Hindi, though, a beautiful language in itself sounds even more beautiful and elegant when spoken with Urdu. It just felt really good listening to the characters talk!!

From the beginning only the differences between the leading characters were obvious, where Kashaf was shown writing her diary in a small house with electricity bill, water problems and house repair worries, Zaroon was writing on his Apple Mac book in his very comfortable, luxurious house.

Kashaf’s take on life is cynical, bitter and pessimistic, Zaroon is shown somewhere bored with his life and in search of new challenges. This typical difference between characters’ social, economical status and lifestyle is not what fascinated me. This story, where the guy is very rich and girl is poor is not something very unique. He’s a rock star; ridiculously confident, pampered by his parents and outgoing whereas, the girl is very bitter, angry at life. Today if I switch on my Television I can see numerous stories with the same plot but, as I said earlier it’s not the plot that I find amusing, it’s the similarities between the cultures that I’m able to draw that have a spell binding effect on me.

So now after watching two episodes of this show I’ve come to a decision of writing about the similarities that I’m going to find on my journey of exploring the life of people in Pakistan, their religion, festivals, marriages, views, love stories and college life through this wonderful show Zindagi Gulzar Hai. I’m hoping to find a lot of similarities and actually have found a lot in the span of just two episodes. The few that I’ve found are:

Bijli ka Bill (electricity bill)

Hahahaha…well it’s 45 degree Celsius and above in New Delhi and the power cuts and huge electricity bill is normal due to AC’s switched on 24 hours and my parents are one of them who keeps on reminding us to save electricity and switch off useless lights and me being just me…well I’m one those people who are very careless when it comes to switching off lights and fans. On the contrary, I’ve this Home Alone Syndrome, when no one is home I switch on all the lights and fans of my house. I guess electricity bill talks are quite common in India too.

College admissions

Again a big laugh because I’m right now going through the anxiety and confusion of getting admission into a good college just like the leading lady of this show Kashaf. So the children in Pakistan have the same doubts and problems that we across the border have?? Very interesting!!

Easy life

The other day only I was hanging out with one of my very good friend and she said “we don’t work very hard because we’ve got everything very easily in life. We didn’t have to struggle for the luxuries. We’ve taken them for granted” and as soon as she said these lines I realized that her thoughts were in perfect sync with Zaroon’s thoughts about his life which made me reach the conclusion that children and people are almost same across the border with the same anxieties and views on life.

For today I’m going to finish my post with these three similarities. In my further posts I’ll be talking about the stereotypes that are shown in this show and compare them to the ones in India.

Since, my school has ended I’d felt that life had come to an unending stand still and everything is set in the shades of grey. I was fed up with the same old shows with the same themes and wondered how could people watch these shows and follow them so fanatically and realized that in my 14 years by not watching TV shows I didn’t miss anything.

But, now that my college is going to start next month, I think I can indulge myself in exploring this beautiful and rich culture which is so similar to mine but still different through this beautiful show Zindagi Gulzar Hai. 

PS: I’m absolutely terrible at Urdu and to be honest I even googled the meaning of “Gulzar” which means “Garden”, so I’m hoping that in the end of these 26 episodes I learn a little Urdu.